The Fed made a bid for every debt related item in the United States today. This includes all real estate not presently paid off, every car under lien, all credit card and loan debts, insurance policies, local governments, state governments, the federal government, every pension, retirement, and municipal fund, farms, the food you plan on eating in the future…

Hmm, I feel like I’m leaving something out … Well, not to be pessimistic but if you work for a living you might want to include yourself because all the taxes you’ll pay throughout the duration of your working life have been earmarked for this special occasion. That’s a sizeable percentage of your total income multiplied by “x” years of your remaining life. Your senator thanks you.

I’m not really sure what’s going on with this bailout. I don’t think anyone is and, ironically, no one on Wall St. cares to speculate. Lol! I’m thinking of opening a futures trading platform to take bets on the potential outcomes of the bailout. I’ll bet Goldman Sachs has already published the odds.

We can be certain that the value of the dollar will falter, that home prices will temporarily remain inflated, and that food and gas prices (and everything else) will continue to rise. A massive market crash and sudden downward economic spiral has been avoided in the short term but the factors that contributed to our current crisis (funny money, easy credit) have been multiplied exponentially. When the financial chickens inevitably come home to roost they will be fatter, more aggressive and prone to violence.

In the long run this bold and sweeping move by the Fed could really simplify things. Think about it. Right now, you go to work, you send the IRS a chunk of your income, then you send a chunk to the banks for debt related items (car payment, credit card, mortgage, insurance giant, loan, etc --- if you don’t owe anyone money you’re a bad American), perhaps you give a chunk to the landlord, then there is the grocer, bartender, crack dealer (call him a doctor or therapist if you want to be pretentious), etc. and on down the line.

The Fed, now that it intends to become the holder of all bank debts, could minimize all of these various transactions into one easy payment. Your insurance, credit card, car, mortgage and house will be owned by the Fed so rather than divy up your payments amongst a confusing lot you could simply (voluntarily at first) elect to have the majority of your paycheck confiscated before you see it. This would even increase worker efficiency. Imagine – no more standing in bank lines, no more battling with stubborn ATM machines, no more pesky additions and subtractions. With the extra time you gain you could work more and be paid less. That way, you’d just go to work, come home, eat and sleep without ever having to engage in that confusing and time consuming process of depositing and writing checks, handling cash, scheduling payments, etc.

Personally I’m looking forward to this new way of doing things because I’ll be able to send all of my paycheck to one bank where I’ll know that a few individuals are spending it wisely, rather than spreading it out amongst people and institutions whose names I might have to remember how to spell.

So let’s hope that the shareholders of the US (our representatives in Congress) make a wise vote on behalf of the Chairman’s proposal. Perhaps when they are through divying up the spoils we can all be neighbors in a nice downtown, high rise together and discuss the breast implants of some Disney celebrity!

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